business niche WIDE open

If any of you sweet souls (five more comments! Love abounds!) are ever wanting to break into the clothing industry, PLEASE make twin/triplet maternity clothes. Most of us needing said items are older, wiser and richer (infertility is NOT a cheap diagnosis) and we can't find anything to wear! I have ONE pair of 'maternity' pants that still fit, and I am not even 5 months in yet! Only a pair of 2x sweats that I got cheap still fit (along with some self-made drawstrings!) - so I have NO idea what I am going to wear for the next several months, and can't even sit to the sewing machine to make myself anything! Why hasn't someone else done this, you ask? Because the only folks who know of the need have their hands full with too many babies to meet it for others!!! Anyway, you'd make a killing - trust me!

And, since you gals are so open about our real lives, I'll tell you something I haven't told most: My belly is offically bigger than my ass, hips included. Oi. (Not to mention other delightful aspects of pregnancy that I never read about in books - a line of dark hair crawiling up to my bra line, pubic hair on all sorts of heretofore nonhirsute real estate, and that my chest looks like a road map - huge blue highways and rivers coming form all quarters to plunge into the twin metropoli of my areaolas. I swear they are each bigger than MY mouth, let alone those of my wee babes!

Anyway, my point is this - I am revelling in my body right now. Grossly uncomfortable (and sometimes just plain gross), not to mention painful (both girls have thier heads on the same side, along with one body, so my belly button points off at about 1:30, I'm so lopsided), and I love it. I can't stop rubbing my belly, and not just to try and shove little girls to the East. I have been looking for picutes of pregnant models to draw from, and can't find any outside of Geddes work. I think I need to get Kevin to take some - blue rivers and all!

No cleaning today (sloth is a virtue when you are going to be a twin mom, or so my Dr keeps telling me), but I'm pouring lots of creative energy into figuring out how to share my queen size bed with my husband, my two girls, and two VERY large cats. I am trying NOT to go with the obvious; hurling them all out of the room, but sleep would be MUCH harder now if I weren't so dang tired all the time anyway!

As for maids and mothers - can't afford it, and lives to far away (and just got over shingles herself!) So - little bits here and there. Our living room is now in livable condition (for the first time in many months), and I'm even having company over today. Enjoy!

I feel so loved!

TWO people actually read my last post in the first 24 hours - and even commented on it! You folks have real tenacity! Thank you!

For all of my old Partners in Clean, I took 20 minutes to get rid of trash and dishes yesterday, and 20 to just declutter today, and, while still not CLEAN (please don't look at my carpet), my living room is now a MUCH mentally-healthier place to be. Hurray! (Way better than trying to get my husband to do it too!)

My quiet day yesterday? Played Civ 4 and read some of the sequel to Simple Abundance, called Something More, by Sarah Ban Breathnach; all about grown-up authentic selves. I've been reading about passion, and have been itching to get into the studio, but clearing mental and physical clutter and knowing that I am lucky because at least I KNOW what I want to be doing, are all good things. Besides, most of the last few years, I have been throwing myself into my art since I couldn't throw myself into parenting yet- who knew I'd end up longing the other way?

Don't get me wrong - I am thrilled to be pregnant, but I also know that I am about to take a major leap in my life, and I want to make sure to pack up all of the really important parts of me for the journey. Some bits of me that I won't have tons of time for I won't mind leaving behind, but my artistically creative self? Heck no - first thing in my carry-on bag!!!

I think that the biggest thing that I got out of yesterday is that I am still just as much of an artist, even if I am not doing art right now. I am being an artist rather than doing art right now, that's all. But it is an ok thing, since I am a human being, and not a human doing anyway.

On the no-art for Christmas comment I made, my mother was surprised that no one got me the Caran D'ache watercolor crayons I asked for, and said she'd get them for me for my birthday in March. The idea that she's going to get me art supplies right around the time the babies could be here any minute was very validating for me - not that I needed it, but it is nice to know that she anticipates my doing art when the girls are small - maybe not much, but some is better than none!

Today's agenda? Cleaning and sleeping until noon? Check. Email, civ 4 and maybe some holiday cards until Kevin wakes up at 3:30? Sounds good. Going to the bookstore immediately thereafter to spend gift certificates and get a sequel that I NEED!?!? Heck yes!

My week of Zen Me

Hi folks -

I certainly can't imagine that *anyone* is still checking this blog, but I hugely appreciate if you are!

My twin pregnancy has been the ever-growing center of my life for months now, and I have decided to take this next 10 days (before going BACK to Boston for my baby shower) to get some time in for ME and actually ignore (as best I can) my pregnancy for a while; Yes, I'll still take my meds and eat and lie down most of the time, but my mind? I hereby claim it back from Baby Brain for a bit!

But let's get the pregnancy news out of the way first, shall we? Then it will be said and can be PUT DOWN. I am 22.5 weeks preg with fraternal twin girls, both doing perfectly. I am enourmous (think 8 months instead of 4.5) and only have two pairs of pants that even begin to fit. My belly button is disappearing. I have put on 20+ lbs so far, which is perfect. I know most of the doctors on the Labor and Delivery floor by first name, since I have been up there with weird pains so often. Rolling over is a myth I once heard about, as is getting comfy.

My beloved Kevin got me a fabu-soft bathrobe for Christmas that I adore. I got none of the art related stuff on my Christmas list. I have done JACK ALL with textiles, other than trying to spin alpaca for my mother in law (can't sit up long enough to spin much) and knit up part of a baby sweater. Yikes. My sewing machine is just off limits, as I can't sit up to use it, and my attempt to do a silk painting for my aunt for Christmas failed when my brain forgot to gutta the edges too, to prevent bleeding. Oh well - she didn't deserve it anyway. >:)

So... I am going to take some of the pushki my mom gave me and get myself a subscription to QA. I think I need it arriving in my mail box to remind me that I am something other than a gestating machine. I am going to pick up a book on pastel drawing at Barns and Snowballs since I can do that with my belly as desk, and I like the idea of smudging stuff right now. I am GOING to do one of a) get my husband to CLEAN THIS DUMP UP, b) make a show of trying to do it myself so he gets the point that this is important to me so it won't get this disgusting again, or c) take more of my carefully hoarded pushki and hire a kid home on break to do some of it for me. I can't take it anymore! I can't really bend over, but I'll figure it out. Most of the stuff from knee to elbow height I have dealt with, but the floor? Grody to the max.

I plan to do some thinking and writing this week too - I haven't really journalled on my pregnancy yet, despite having worked so hard to get here. I feel like I owe it to MYSELF to document this transformation some. Likewise, I haven't done a tarot reading for myself in ages - no, I don't tell the future, I just look at what thoughts I am having now - very good for mindfulness work, and I am feeling a sore lack of that on anything other than a maternal level lately.

And why now? I was supposed to stay in Boston this whole time, so no one knows that I am home, I have no appointments scheduled, and snow always puts me in the mood for introspection. Also, I know that far too soon I will have precious few moments of quiet time to myself, let alone nice big chunks of them to spend as I please, rather than in a recovery coma.

So - it is lunch time now, then something 100% for my mental health, specifics as yet to be determined.

Best wishes to all - I miss your lives like crazy.

Ignorance

I just logged on, read the news, and told my husband that Rosa Parks had died at 92.

"Who?"

I looked at him incredulously and said "Rosa Parks? Montgomery, Alabama? Wouldn't give her bus seat up to a white guy and got arrested, which got MLK to start that huge boycott and *start the civil rights movement?*" (Can you tell that the pitch of my voice was rising the whole time? Lol

He then told me that he had moved around a lot during HS and may have missed that part of American history.

I told him that we had pictures of her up in our classroom in *elementary school*.

He's never heard of her. Didn't even ring a bell when I retold him her story. He didn't even know what the initials in NAACP stood for, but he did know what the group was about.

-----

I get that VT is the whitest state in the country. I get that my husband moved around a lot growing up. But I don't get that schools here never celebrated Black History Month when we were all complaining, just 200 miles south in Boston, that Black History was everyone's history and ought to be incorporated throughout the year - not just dragged out for the shortest month of the year, not to mention one with a week long vaction during it.

Needless to say, I read him the entire article. I guess even 'educated' men didn't learn some things....

Testing, testing...

My old, nice, dependable keyboard just bit the dust. The space bar doesn't work any more, at least not out on the edges where I hit it, with force, after every word. Sigh.

So - here is the new keyboard - same layout, but *NO WHERE NEAR AS GOOD*. (No offence, little board, but you are following the wake of some *smooth* keystrokes...)

So, not that my posts have been frequent lately, but typing has gotten even more trying. Sigh. I *so* enjoyed having my fingers be able to type at the speed of my thoughts. No more.

At least for now.

Sigh.

Personality

My husband is mocking my inability and gross unwillingness to roll over. Fooey on him.

I had a *really* long u/s on Tuesday (on a full bladder - wah!) that showed that everything is hunky dory! Baby A (Beck) is a camera hogging acrobat - never staying still. Baby B (Call) is a camera-shy slug-a-bed who want move even if you poke him or her. We saw perfect profiles on both (little noses and chins) and 10 little fingers on Beck.

Why Beck and Call? Say that to yourself for a minute... YUP - that is me - 24/7! Also, since the one we lost was lower in my uterus, that one would have been A, and these would have been B and C, so the nicknames sort of honor their missing sibling.

In other news, I have only puked twice in the last 4 days! Hurray! I am 13 weeks nnow, so my morning sickness is tapering off right on schedule. Hurray! The babies are perfect size and heart rate for age, so I am happy. We'll find out genders just after Turkey Day when they do a lvl 3 anatomical u/s just to make sure everything about their little bodies is good to go!

A change in the weather

In addition to the copious amounts of rain pounding us this last week, I A) gained weight for the first time in my pregnancy thanks to Mom's cooking in Boston last weekend, and B) might actually be seeing the end of the morning-noon-and-night sickness that has been plaguing me for a month now! Hurray!

I will be 12 weeks prengnant in the next few days, so I am a third of the way through to seeing these guys born. Kevin is thinking about going back to work, and we are trying to find foods that take minimal prep for maximal nutrition and all around yumminess. Hopefully we are moving the futon today - (or rather I will supervise HIS moving of the futon) from its summer residence by the AC to its winter home by the heater and better light source. I'm just glad that it isn't colder out, or all of this rain could be SNOW! Yikes!

Studio? Art work? What are those? I colored most of a plate of the Human Brain coloring book the other day, and put a couple of stitches into my needlepoint this AM, but that is it. I haven't even been able to finish my post cards for heaven's sake! (But you WILL get them eventually - sorry for the tardiness!!!) Right now my creative and productive juices are going no farther than my uterus... good for the long haul, but boring in the short term! Daytime TV would be a complete bust without the numerous science channels we pay through the nose for...

"High Risk"

That is the official term for my twin pregnancy since my medical record is in a BINDER now. Oh well. At least I really like my Maternal Fetal Medicine specialist, Dr Helen Feltovich. Now if I can just stop puking...

Sheep and Wool!!!!!!

Not much going on here, but I thought I'd check in anyway, since some of you seem to still be reading along with my pregnancy induced woes...

Word to the wise: Don't get a nasty head cold when you have morning sickness. You'd think that the staggering lack of olfaction would help in the puking department, but I have two words for you: Post-nasal drip. Snot running down the back of one's throat is almost garunteed to trigger one's gag reflex, as does blowing one's nose. I puked about 30 times yesterday (can't take any of the good drugs pregnant!) after not puking AT ALL on Saturday (or so far today, for that matter, but let's not jinx me, ok?)

The timing of said cold was *perfect* however. That no puke Saturday I mentioned? VT Sheep and Wool festival. Melody would have made her man sell his bike to pay for the goodies - honest! Even my DH Kevin bought a bag of merino/silk blend in great turquoise and maroon blends to spin up. Yeah, you heard me - spin. There was plenty of ready to knit yarn there (in alpaca, angora, bamboo, wool - you name it) but I am WAY more of a spinner than a knitter (baby sweaters in progress notwithstanding) and was in *desperate* need of a drum carder. Anyone who knows what I am talking about will know the price tag associated with such marvelous devices. Anyone with no clue whatsoever will notice that I used the past tense when refering to my drum carder jones....

So... $304 dollars later (gulp) I am the proud owner of a drum carder. Now the $200 worth of dyed locks (from my pre-dying days) sitting in my closet can finally get carded and *fed to the machine*!!! Joy!

You KNOW that I had to get some natural white locks to dye myself too though, right? Another $20 there (which I thought was VERY restrained, since she had 4.5 lbs of *prewashed* Coopworth sitting there!!!), plus two rainbow dyed rovings for the twins ($10 each) and an ohmigodmustspin 8 oz ball of core-frosted alpaca (dark brown on the inside, white on the outside). YUMILICIOUSNESS at its blinkin finest. I justify it by thinking that I'll spin it up and give it to my mother in law for a Xmas present. She's a great knitter, see, and I *finally* finished the ohIhatetoworkfromtop black that I ordered from my dear cousin-in-law Halcyon last year that I am supposed to send to said mother in law for a sweater for said son/husband.

Halcyon's stuff is amazing, btw, if you haven't discovered her yet - she has this great "yarn store in a box" that is just stuckathomeonarainyday and needingafondle heaven. But I won't order top from her again. VERY nice, if you like top. I spin for relaxation, and don't find spinning top to be very relaxing, so... but it was black and available, so I got a pound of it from her. And it is FINALLY done, almost a year later. Talk about an albatross.

Which reminds me of Serenity. We went after sheep and wool on Sat, and it was probably too much for me, but I'm still glad we went. I am NOT happy with them though - great movie except for them killing off characters!!!!!!! The first death I understood - unfortunate, but ok. The second death spells the death of the ensemble dynmamic for me - talk about a key character! The only way they could have ticked me off more would have been to have killed off Kaylee (who has *aged* since the show - wowzers!)

Enough of my ramble - Kevin is going to give me a push around the block soon to enjoy the sunshine, and I am VERY much looking forward to it. Enjoy!

Unisom and good, but sad, news

Unisom works even better than compazine (and no explosions at the *other* end, either!), and it works for about twice as long, so Unisom and Vitamin B6 it is!

Tuesdays are just my good days - two in a row I haven't puked, but come Wednesday...

Ah well - at least I am down to just a few times a day - not so bad when it was almost as many times as years in my age...

And, the little guy stopped growing a week and a half ago, and showed no heartbeat on yesterday's u/s. The twins look great though - perfect size for date, and matching heart rates of 167 bpm. I have been released from Reproductive Endocrinology, and am now officially a patient of Maternal Fetal Medicine. All these 10 dollar words for wanting the most normal thing in the world. Oh well.

I go today to my first twins club meeting - should be exciting/terrifying! Wish me luck!

Compazine and sherbert

are my two new best friends. I am only taking in water based liquids (sherbert, broth, and jello), and must have puked at least 20 times yesterday. So - I called my Dr in desperation last night, and he prescribed Compazine. Ah... It has been over two hours since I last dry heaved, and I am actually able to get moderately comfy for the first time in ages. Hurray!

I'm NOT pushing my luck, and Kevin is still going to try and take a couple of weeks off to help me out - he needs more sleep, and I need more care. We just need to get over this hump... My next U/S is on Wednesday, and we'll know more then, so that will be good.

Meanwhile, I am exercising my brain with logic puzzles, weekend science shows, and inventing wild plants for my husband's computer game. They kill time, and the weeks are passing, one by one. I'm 9 weeks now, so hopefully this won't last much longer...

Mirabile dictu!

I have NOT puked in two days, and I actually got into the studio for a couple of HOURS yesterday! I was working on a big piece of timtex to be cut up for some of the remaining postcards that I owe people, and the quilting has even begun on it, but I won't post a picture until I am ready to back and cut it - just to keep me honest.

I don't know which feels better, honestly - getting in the studio or getting OUT of the bathroom. Ah.... Add the flocks of geese soaring overhead and CSI premiere week to the mix, and I am one VERY happy camper!

You all are the BEST.

I post about my pregnancy here a) to get to vent about stuff, and b) to justify to all of you (and maybe myself too) why art just is NOT happening right now (although I *have* started knitting a baby sweater).

That said, not only do you all keep reading my blather, but you actually *write back with your support* - I am just blown away. I knew that a couple of readers were trying to get pregnant themselves, and polite interest from them was sort of expected, but some of the letters (and the sheer volume of them!) that I have been getting are just so many hugs waiting for me in my mailbox each day.

You all are just SO sweet, and SO VERY, VERY appreciated. I thank you. :)

Sad but good news

I had another u/s on Wednesday, and it showed three little guys - all the right size for age. Two of them look perfect - amniotic sacs like swimming pools, and heartrates in the 140's - right where they should be.

But the gap has opened even wider between the twins and 'the little guy' - the third embryo; his sac barely contains him, and his heartrate was in the very unhealthy 90's.

I'm glad that I got to meet him, but the Dr says that he is 99.9% certain that the little guy is on his way out. I have another u/s in 2 weeks to see if he has gone by then. If not, they think I should have him 'nudged along his way' so that a later miscarriage doesn't risk the twins' health. No fun. As much as I like having him around, I certainly hope that he goes on his own, so that I don't need to make such a horrible choice.

But, I am HUGELY relieved to be having only twins. I have two arms and two breasts, so twins is doable! I am almost 8 weeks in... so obviuosly it is still anyone's game, but I'm feeling better about things now...

In other news, my wheelchair arrived this week, and I actually get to go somewhere *other than the mall* this weekend. In fact, I am going to two different parks on two different days, so I am very excited (even better? I am going this AM *without* my husband. He is a complete peach, but the idea of actually going somewhere without him is almost intoxicating....)

Enjoy, folks, and Happy Harvest!

Morning sickness...

... hit like a wall last night, and has been consuming my every thought and movement since. Sigh... At least I only have two more days until that all important 7 week ultrasound. Meanwhile, ginger ale, a wet washcloth, and getting up slowly are my bestest friends in the world (no offense meant, but you understand!) BTW - my hubby gets BIG bonus points for rubbing my back while I lost my breakfast this AM - he's a sweety.

Enjoy, and *please* continue to create and discuss lots of gorgeous art so I can live vicariously...

more than one?

Ok folks, update time -

I might be pregnant with triplets. It is still WAY early (6 weeks tomorrow), so I may lose any or all of them, but last week's u/s showed three gestational sacs, two substantially bigger than the third. We are likely looking at twins.

I am hungry every couple hours, am still living on narcotics and sleeping , and I think morning sickness is edging its way into the scene. Blech.

Anyway, just wanted to let you all know why I have dropped off the planet. I'll let you know what is going on as soon as I do...

My empathy is not fuel for your agenda

I just received this comment to my below post within 5 minutes of posting it.

"Typical liberal response....symbolism ovr substance....

Why don't you send an abortionist down there and kill off all of those un-wanted black babies....

You are an idiot."

--
Posted by The Shadow to Quilt Art Quests and Quandries... at 9/03/2005 09:21:18 AM

Sigh.

There is an ENORMOUS difference between 'unwanted' and 'bad timing.'

If folks WANT to conceive during all of this, well then, power to them! I can see where such a wonderful blessing at this point would be very calming, and would convey a sense that life will go on, no matter what the devastation.

I can also see where it might be a headache some folks would rather avoid just now. I'm thinking about the folks who normally use birth control, and whom Katrina has taken it away from. They deserve to be able to make their choice too.

And none of this is even looking at STDs - lots of people are looking for whatever comfort they can find right now, and they shouldn't have to risk getting some horrible disease to get it.

And before anyone says that I am saying that 'poor black people have no self-control and are rutting like bunnies' - these people have been through hell, and anything that brings them some peace is a good thing, as long as it isn't hurting anyone. I would prefer if it didn't risk them getting hurt in the process - they don't deserve more pain.

___

I also feel for the person who felt that they needed to lambast me. Whatever they have dealt with that makes them assume that I am 'one of *those* people' is a travesty.

That said, it would be really nice if people would actually look at the intent behind a posting before deciding that it vallidates their own personal agendas - whether they agree or disagree with me. I am an independant thinker, and I rarely jump on *any* bandwagon; I am much more likely to discover that my own little soapbox fits in nicely with someone else's and enjoy their commeraderie, but I try very hard never to allow their voice to become mine.

If you don't like something that I have to say, please call me an idiot, but please do not insult me by saying that I have 'a typical liberal response.' Most of my views *are* very liberal, but they are, first and foremost, MY views, and not those spoonfed to me by some platform or other.

Also? Have the decency to leave an actual address to reply to - throwing statements out without making *any* provision for dialog is highly unlikely to ever solve anything.

Horrible thought

The devastation of the Gulf Coast is much on my mind. I plan to get lots of diapers and things to the dropoff points here in Vermont to send to the South today when I am out (finally). Gas being what it is, I figured that diapers are a) pretty critical and b) relatively lightweight for the long trip.

I am very pleased to see that so many organizations are getting in there, and I look forward to being part of the effort. I've seen info on not just housepet rescue operations, but also on equine rescue work. I'm glad.

My horrible thought? When you have nothing except grief and frustration and thousands of people, I can imagine that sexual intimacy is one of the few things folks can do to relax, let off some stress, and feel close to each other when so many have been lost. And I bet most folks lost their birth control and STD-preventing condoms. I know that grief has lead me into some less-than-smart situations in my past, and I've NEVER been through what those folks are going through. Talk about short-term peace for long-term consequences.

Since it seems to me that those poor folks don't need any more long-term headaches at this point, and, at the same time, deserve all the peace they can get, I am going to throw a couple of boxes of condoms in with my donation today. Even if they only go to married couples, that will be great, since no one needs to be trying to rebuild their lives and build a baby at the same time, and I'm sincerely afraid that nine months from now folks lives are still going to be *very* disrupted. No one needs that.

And, as usual, I am behind on my AQ digests. I am going to read some of the recent ones today though, hoping that someone who knows how is going to run a fundraiser for Katrina victims. I may have many other sewing projects to finish, and I may have very limited energy at this point, but I WILL contribute my time, energy and prayers to this effort. Likewise, if anyone is coordinating getting quilts to the South, I'm in. In fact, I think I still have some small lovey size quilts left from a show I did years ago. They might go in the box today too... I'd be honored to have them provide some small comfort for a child who has been through hell this week, and has a long journey to wherever home may eventually be.

I'm a WHAT?!?!?

What Famous Leader Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

Ok, I am not into politics except when I play darts and need to imagine a target, and I really don't think that I am much like Honest Abe here, but the part that made me post this to all of you is the "you are an ASSASSINATION VICTIM" bit!!!! What the heck???

Trust me, I'm not worth the bullet. If you want to throw a nice chilled lemon pie at me though, that would a)be far more appropriate, and b) WAY yummier than eating lead.

Yes, I think that all the sweat I am producing is BOUND to interfere with good fusing results, but I AM going to work on my IS piece today. No excuses.

BTW - I am officially 5 weeks pregnant today, and the Salmon dinner (yup - so good it has to be capitalized) by candlelight and long snuggles thereafter that Kevin and I enjoyed last night were VERY nice. I don't like that our schedules are completely at odds with each other now, but having 'dates' again feels very pookie and nice.

I'm melting!!!!!

Too darned hot and humid. Too many narcotics. Too much lovely company!! This is my lovely friend Cindy, who came and spent the day untangling my yarn, weaving on her little weavette thingy, and generally gossiping. Perfect company - I'm too out of it to focus on much, but my hands could gaily needlepoint and my brain happily blather, so all was good.And this is the gang - my lion Gunny, my turtle baby Tata, and their dear friend, Aunt Cindy's Blue Bear! They are snuggled up in a quilt made from scraps (some of them from Cindy in the first place) that Cindy played with when she was here last. Tata had a quilt, so Blue Bear wanted one too, and this is the result! Now if only I could count on my human children, when they get here, to play so nicely together and give me time for fiber dates with friends.... I should be so lucky!

Tonight is DH Kevin's night off, and, since we haven't really had any private time to celebrate my pregnancy (I had to tell him on the phone for heaven's sake, and then arrived home with my MOTHER!), he is making his *divine* salmon for dinner. Now if I can just nap, shower and be just medicated enough to enjoy it without being *too* out of it, all will be well with the world - as long as it *cools the heck down.*

At least we aren't our friend Salus - he flew to Houston to avoid being home when his house in the French Quarter flooded from Katrina. Yikes. Fingers crossed, my friend!

Advice needed...

My dear friend Barbara is having twins (lots of those in my life, eh?) and only has one Christening gown in good shape. There *is* another heirloom gown - 80+ yr old linen, but it has gone yellow. Any ideas for an heirloom safe whitener?

Thanks in advance!

Growing...

Today is Tra's twins' birthday, so HAPPY 1st BIRTHDAY KIRA AND AMELIA!!!!!

I am bummed that I can't go to their party, but driving and narcotics are NOT a good combination. Ah well. Maybe I will work on Kira's quilt more today to celebrate!

Anyway, I thought I'd show you all my progress on my IS piece, just so you know that I really *am* working on *something*!

Right now though, I am busy conquering the world (CIV3, at least until my meds kick in - I love being the Sumerians! Then, back to work!

Question for you...

What do you all think about work that is 'about' something?

Not representational, not necessarily obvious, but which is brought out by a certain something in the artist's life...

Or not - something completely abstract and randomly generated - 100% open to interpretation, if you can get a handle on it to do so.

I'm thinking about my IS piece (the leaves are going great guns, btw) - it is definately 'about' something (something so personal, in fact, that I wonder if I can/should put a price tag on it), but I also really enjoyed just playing with the 'frames' in a very abstract sort of way.

Personally, I find it kind of hard to stick with a project that doesn't hold me emotionally, no matter how artistically interesting it is. Likewise, even a fairly boring traditional pattern (not that they all are, obviously) can really keep me motivated if I am doing it for someone special.

I *can* really stay with a piece that is technically new or interesting in some way, but I wonder how most folks manage their motivation on pieces that are going to be judged (not something I'm great about when it comes to personal expression) or for sale? Just curious...

Progress

This is a *terrible* picture of my IS piece - *finally* in the works.

The ground cloth (painted weeks ago) is grey - for the neutral ground of my life. Superimposed on it are black and white squares and rectangles reflecting the good and difficult parts of my life healthwise - big white relatively healthy childhood, black brain infection, white recovery and rediscovery, black infertility. I've also added a mottled blue disk for my pregnancy, and a solid blue one for my own birth - blue being the color of potential for me... I'm madly cutting leaves now, to show the vine of my own growth through these phases, and I'm going to add smaller blue disks growing out of the vines, showing my personal creations - groups, ideas, etc, that have taken on lives of their own, as I have, and hopefully as my children will....

I'm really excited that this starting to come together - not in time for the judged bit of IS, but in time to make me happy, and the narcotics I'm on for the OHSS easier to deal with. All good.
This is an idea I was playing around with - not for my IS piece, but as a possible idea for future exploration. I do plan to use the 'frames' in my IS piece - I'm going to lay them over the vines to frame select portions of my life (maybe with tulle in them - not sure yet), but obviously not so that they cover the mottle blue disk representing my growing bean! (Gotta love having a blog to document the transient idea in though - more accurate and accessible than my plethora of disorganized sketch books).

And, last but not least, what I have been working on most of this week in the 20 minutes of lucidity afforded me by huge quantitites of oxycodone - Kira's quilt. It is the twins' (Kira and Amelia) 1st birthday tomorrow, and I want to at least have it 'envisionalbe' for then so I can send a picture to their mom, my dear friend Tra. I bought the really cool mottled peach fabric, and dyed the other salmon one to correspond, and I am very happy with it so far. I am also enjoying the ease of piecing with a 1/4" foot. A first for me, and WOW is it easier! Talk about doing things the hard way - never again!!!!

My visit to the Dr yesterday means that I am NOT being admitted for treatment of my OHSS, since it seems to be resolving on its own. Hurray! I have ovaries the size of saucers, and a 4" cyst in one, and they are floating around in lots of extraneous fluid, but I can actually see my waist today, so I'm happy. He said that he was sorry that I was feeling 'yucky', but I responded that I am pretty used to feeling that way, and I don't mind it nearly so much when it is actually accomplishing something - like growing my baby!!!!!!

I have an ultrasound in two weeks to see how many beans are growing, and where they are, then they officially kick me over to obstetrics. I am VERY excited! I'm also finally sleeping better (since it no longer hurts to rotate or bend at the waist), which always helps.

BTW - the IS exhibit is shaping up to be *awesome* - the work that I've seen so far is very moving - both artisically and psychologically. I love being part of a community where we can really *share* all of this stuff and feel supported in it... Thanks for being such a gracious and compassionate audience!

Fall is in the air

Melody wrote about the signs of the arrival of fall in her life...

Personally, I love it.
Falling asleep to crickets and waking up to geese.
Having long, leisurely morning light in my studio at a more respectable hour.
Everyone back at school so I don't have to hear the dang blasted ice cream truck for much longer.
Everyone *else* back on a schedule, so no one calls wanting me to change/make plans at the drop of a pin.
Getting to snuggle up with a good book and my blankets and loveys and while away the afternoon.
Actually *enjoying* ironing, since it no longer makes the studio into a sauna.
Having my ice cream stay solid while I eat it.
New CSI episodes coming soon.
Dodging getting morning sickness in the heat by only a week or two - yipee!
Apple pie season is coming, and I will actually have time to bake some.
Most of my cold weather clothes are baggy, so I won't need to buy/borrow any new ones for most of my pregnancy.
It is getting cool enough to spin again! Yeah! (I don't know how sheep stand July.)

Not bad, eh? Yeah, I miss the warm breezes, and I only got swimming in the lake once this summer (pa the tic), but snuggling is a favorite pasttime of mine, so I'm not *really* complaining.

I am, however, wondering if I should try and work this fall. For the last two years (in theory) I have worked for an afterschool program at the local elementary - arts, sign language, homework help, etc. I took a medical leave last November that lasted the rest of the year. I figure that I *could* work this fall, and then take the Spring sememster off (bad weather, ungainly belly, and hopefully not bedrest), but I am wondering if I am ready/willing/able to teach this fall. It would only be about 5 hours a week, but it is just amazing how so few hours can really make you schedule one's whole life, and I'm sort of enjoying/needing to follow only the directions of my body right now.

We'll see. I'm in no shape to do it atm, and I have no idea how this whole pregnancy thing is going to work out, so I think I need to take it one day at a time - no commitments, except to my self, my child and my family! (As if that isn't enough already!)

Oh, for Potter's sake....

Harry Potter Personality Quiz by Pirate Monkeys Inc.

*I* (bats eyelashes innocently) am supposed to be like those... hooligans!?!?!?

Yeah, ok. I may have gotten detention on occaision, but I would NEVER take advantage of my younger peers by testing Puking Pastilles and Nosebleed Nougat on them! Sheesh! I have scruples, darn it! The out-going, friendly bit, sure, but NOT their moral compass!!! Oi! I'm much more of a Hermione in that department.

Narcotics suck. I mean, they do a really good job on pain and all, but I'd really kind of like my brain back, please! At least my body seems to have decided that it doesn't need to send me an itching attack every time I take one now though, so thank heavens for small mercies!

I *should* be working on my IS piece, but it is in a fussy bit, and I don't trust my brain to get it right. Instead, I have been continuing to piece the first of the two quilts for the girls, and am even * more * pleased with the fabric that I dyed to coordinate than I was before assembly. These are going to look FABULOUS, and NO - that is not me oxycodone-goggling! Sheesh! Although I DO have to say that Phish Food frozen yogurt has never tasted so good, and that really IS saying something, so maybe I shouldn't get too excited yet.... Hm. Back to sleep for me.... Oh well. Enjoy, and thanks for all the well-wishing! You all are the BESTEST!!!

NO Partners in Clean this week

Want to hear my excuse? I'm sleeping every minute I can because I am itching too much to sleep. I am itching as a side effect of my narcotics. I am taking narcotics because my abdominal cavity is full of fluid and really #$# painful, something called ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome (OHSS). I have OHSS because (insert drumroll here --->>> I'm pregnant! 4 weeks today, by all counts, and, thankfully, I managed to duck needing hospitalization for my OHSS. NOT how I wanted to start my pregnancy, but **at least I get to start it at all!!!**

Anyway, just wanted to share. I only got pictures of the garden this weekend in Western MA, but those can wait until tomorrow. Now I need to go sleep.

Enjoy!!!

+10000 steps a week

Yes, I know the idea is to walk a total of 10000 steps a DAY, but I am only counting the ones that are deliberately walk related. Since Sunday I have done 4280 additional steps, and that isn't even counting our Borders trip last night. Not bad for a start, but WOW am I out of shape. Between being pretty much housebound all winter, having a miscarriage in May, and then having my usually very active job fall through this summer, I haven't done much, and it *shows*.

I am wanting to be in better shape for pregnancy and childbirth, so I've started trying to rebuild strength and stamina - deep knee bends and getting out each day help! I even went by a Curves today, but a) the lady was really bitchy, b) I don't think that I could get up and down from a chair every thirty seconds for half an hour, let alone do anything in between, and c) did I mention that the lady was a bitch? I'm thinking that if I need to do something more formal, I'd be better off at a rehab gym. A longer drive, but adaptable to where my body is that day, and with staff that might actually know something about fibromyalgia and exercise during pregnancy. Meanwhile, I'm going to see if I can borrow my Mom's exercise bike again. I crank the resistance down *really* low and just go for movement, but it helps tons anyway.

Aside from my outings though, I haven't been spending much time in the studio - my abdomen is just too sore (hopefully implantation cramping!) to sit up for long - my computer time and bits of sewing and ironing here and there is about all I am managing this week.

And even if this week is sort of a bust in the studio, and even if I am in the worst shape of my life (I've been laid up worse, but not for so darned long before - basically since October 2004), I HAVE gotten lots accomplished on a personal level - my artistic work has made huge leaps and jumps out of bounds, and I have been doing lots of much-needed psychological processing. Not at all a wasted summer.

That said, my plans for fall are much more frugal - be/get pregnant, work on getting my house, my head and my body in shape, and hopefully do more art and teaching on the way. I'm happy with the progress that has been made so far, but there is always room for improvement!

BTW - I am spending the weekend in Western Mass with family, so I'll have lots of gorgeous pictures to share next week. Promise. Mea culpa that I forgot to take my camera to the lake for our walk today. Sorry!

Weird Quilt Wannabe

Ok, so this project has had way too many ideas thrown at it, and little execution that I actually liked. The finished idea isn't done yet, but also gonna-post-it-to-the-world interesting, so I didn't rush it. I *will* finish it, and post it here in obscurity, but that is it.

My dear friend Barbara is pregnant with fraternal twins, and just spent the weekend in the hospital bleeding with a possible partial placental abruption. She is only 20 weeks pregnant. Oi. 40 weeks doesn't honestly sound like that long a time, but WOW can lots go on during it. I get to find out if *I* in week four or not next weekend, and then whole new barrels of worry and excitement may come rolling in. Yippee! :\

Partners in Clean: Week 5

I'm figuring that once a month I should focus my energies on something different; this week it is my sanity. Hormones are, as we know, *not* very kind in this department. I've also been noticing the season's wane here in Vermont - dark by 9 PM, wet grass every morning and crickets galore.

What do these two things add up to? I need to get the heck out of my house more. When I'm in a funky, narfy mood, tend not to leave the house. At all. Not good.

So - I'm going to try and build a sanity habit this week - get out of the house at least 6 days a week. Better for my sanity, my health, and, yes, my organization. Eh? Who many errands do I have that need running, but never get done? The bank, the bookstore, the market. Yeah, food is an errand I put off, and fabric stores can get me out every time. Go figure. ;) Six days a week is my goal - my body is not always up to going out. We'll see how it goes.

So - yesterday I went to the mall and got my new bra (see last post), and today I am going to the market to buy supplies for friends coming to tea (yes, I live in the US, but tea fits our schedule today) and tomorrow? No idea. It will come to me.

One caveat to all of this? I live 2 miles from downtown, so running my errands one at a time isn't hard on the gas tank. I also consider walks around the block or even gardening (heaven forbid) as getting out of the house. When I have errands to do more than 10 minutes away, I will stack them so I don't waste gas, money and time.

BTW - the maintaining my order thing is going... ok. It could be better. At least Kevin is making our bed when he gets out of it at 3 PM, so I get to look at tidy there. I'll keep working on it.

A Bra story (and IS detours)

Ok - I've been on fertility meds for 2.5 years now, but hadn't needed to buy a new bra until now. I often didn't wear one at all in fact, but other times I needed to sleep in a sports bra because my breasts hurt so badly. That has been the case recently, and discovering that the only bra-like thing that I had that would a) fit and b) was clean was my bikini, sent me shopping.

When I started all of this trying-to-get-pregnant stuff, I weighed about 30 lbs less, and was a small 36B. Today? The lowest size that didn't feel tight and might actually have a smidgen of room to grow? 40D. I came out of the dressing room, having gone out and back again with bigger and bigger sizes several times, in complete and utter shock. Add to that the fact that the only one that really felt like it game me (the same me who just last winter went weeks without wearing one at all) enough support was a *nursing* bra!

So, here I am; morning-noon-and-night sick (albeit mildly), hot flashy, going through my welcome to Motherhood Maternity goodie bag in my new nursing bra. I can't get over this. My goodie bag has a bottle and a pacifier in it! Yikes! I joked with the ladies at the store that *mine* should have come with a pregnancy test!

Oh well. At least I have a bra that I ought to get plenty of use out of in the next few years, provided my breasts don't get any *bigger!*

As far as my artist's block goes, I think I figured it out - I had been trying to think how to show my connection to the Earth that I am tapping into for strength. I am still working psychologically on how I am going to do that, so I think that I am going to set the belly aside and just work on imaging Nature herself, and worry about how to relate my prego belly to it later. I just can't do big psychological processing on a deadline - go figure!

As it is, I have deadlines like mad coming up - weird quilts tomorrow (discovered that I LOVE my new beading technique with monofilament, but don't want to incorporate it into the piece after all), one of the trad quilts for the girls for their first birthday at the end of the month (they won't know that it is only Kira's and not Amelia's anyway), and the IS piece, newly reconceptualized and not at all designed yet, by Aug 31. Add to this that I am going to be visiting with my cousins and nephews next weekend for about 5 days, and my time is feeling *very* short. Too bad my body isn't up for marathons right now!

Baby steps. (Feels like my theme right now, eh?) Lol...

Artist's block

I repainted the fabric for the womb, so it should be clear sailing, right? Wrong - I can't get beyond the belly and breasts except to think that I want lots of leaves... NOT enough to go on! I'm playing with arms, but - eh. Not so much. I don't want a face, as it can be any of us, and I don't want legs since mine don't work very often, and part of the point of the darned thing is that I don't need my legs to be a good parent.

So. Now what. At least only the image is due by the end of the month, so I'm not under the gun as much as I thought I was. But. Hm. I think I need to sleep on it, but ideas are MOST welcome...

Idea for you

I know that I can't be the only person who has thought of this, but I got tired of losing all of my coordinated bits (leaves, petals, branches, etc), and equally tired of all of their edges getting ragged from rubbing against each other; especially unforgiving when they have fusible on the back.

So - I now fuse my bits onto backing paper - a petal sheet, a branch sheet, etc. To make it even better, I can use both sides of the paper - I have black branches on one side and white on the other of the big piece here.

Anyway, just thought I'd share. I've been working on a photoshop honey-do for my mother all morning - moving pretty bits of my nephew from one photo to another to cover for his irritability with having his photo taken as the clicking continued. It has only taken me about 10 months to do, and I still need to get it printed, but a start is a start. And oh yeah - I *did* paint up new fabric for the womb - but it takes time to dry. Thankfully. Can you tell that I am into sloth today? >;)

Good surprises

In looking for my wedding pictures (we got married in January), I discovered that one of my friend/photograhpers had NOT messed them all up, as I had previously thought. Hurray! Lots of them are still blurry from our moving around, but now we have twice as many decent pictures as we had before, so I am very glad!

That said, I decided to crop this one for my profile picture for this blog - this is me on my WEDDING DAY, so, for heaven's sake, don't EVER expect me to look this good again, 'cus it ain't gonna happen! I was walking from our suite to the ceremony, and I am looking at everyone looking at me through the windows. Yes, I was walking outside, in January, in Vermont. That is my amazing friend Sue helping me - she did my hair too. My mother knitted my mohair shawl and arranged my flowers. We had a handmade wedding - Kevin's tunic was made by his mother and everyone pitched in to do everything: hang lights, take pictures, set up our altar, iron my dress, and finish frosting the cake (which I made- torted pound cake with black raspberry jam - yummy!).

It was grand... everyone liked feeling some proprietary interest in it all, even giving us advice and blessings during the ceremony that Kevin and I ran ourselves (with a UU minister to put the legal stamp on it near the end), and it felt warm and homey, and very comfortable. It also cost us less than the cake alone at most other weddings. How can you beat it?

Ok - enough nostalgia for one day, I promise. Kevin was up all night, acclimating for starting to work 3rd shift tonight. His puttering around kept me from sleeping very well, it is a cloudy day, and my hormones are still doing the loop de loops, so I don't know how much I'll get done today. The bead work for the Weird Challenge is coming along great, so maybe I'll work more on that today - it is pretty mindless. My IS challenge piece is stalled out again, and semi back to the drawing board, and there is DEFINATIVELY no time for such nonsense. I think I need to paint up some new fabric for the womb bit, since the bit I have is a tad too small, and sort of cramping my style. Now if only I can get the colors right again! Probably not, but painting is good therapy anyway, and I finished off the only Phish Phood in the house last night, so I could use it... Wish me luck!

Indelible Spirit takes form!

I'm pretty happy with this - I am doing a piece based on the Birthing From Within idea of a Womb with a View. The dark blue is the body of the mother, the paler purple is the womb, and the lotus is the cervix blooming...

Can you tell that I am hoping that I am going to be pregnant? I should have ovulated yesterday. :) My big personal intention of the year is *trusting my body* and that is what prepared childbirth is all about, so, since my body doesn't always cooperate with me, and the challenge is called the Indelible Spirit, making a piece about my soon to be very pregnant belly seemed, well, empowered. I'm honestly very happy with the progress so far, but I am even more happy to actually have gotten from drawing to fabric - finally! The piece is due at the end of the month, so this is not a single moment too soon!

I made good progress on the beading for my Weird Quilt challenge today too, but the upshot is that my eyes are *done* right now, so CSI for the rest of the evening it is!<

Blink

Wowzer. I took yesterday off to be slothful and deal with ovulation pains (perhaps 5 follicles - oi!) and today I am back to:

* undoing the damage to my clean house that my husband, cats and guests have wrought in four days

* get back into the studio and WORKING again (weird quilts is due MONDAY!!!)

* having lunch with old friends I had lost track of before one of them moves to Arkansas on Friday! (stupid tenure system - they don't know what they let go of!)

But before launching into all of that, I thought I'd breeze by the SAQA site and WOAH!!!! I usually spend minutes on each and every image at museums or in catalogs. This 'now you see it, now you don't' format just overloaded my circuits this morning, but *what a treat*!!!

My brain doesn't know what to do with itself now, so I guess I'll let it be all floppy and paint me up some more greens and blues...

Partners in Clean: Week 4!

The out-of-towners leave today. It has been a great weekend, but I am just exhausted! I finished Harry Potter 6 last night too, so I am quickly going to revert to an empty house and no must finish this book motivation. Ah well.

This brings me to the habit that I want to create this week: Maintaing neatness and order where I have created it! The house only needs about 30 min worth of work to get it back to where it was on Friday afternoon, and it would be really nice to keep the place 'company ready'. I even have an impetus - friends coming for lunch tomorrow!

So - the bill basket is going nicely still, and hopefully I can maintain this level of order. Then maybe next week I will deal with some of the parts of the house that *weren't* in sight this weekend; my closet (yikes!) and/or my studio dresser! Ack!

In the meantime though, I plan to take lots of naps and enjoy not having a house over-run with folks I've just met. Best wishes all! Share YOUR PIC stories too!

He apologizes well...

Don't you think?
After all the kafuffle, folks were here Friday night, and again for a big waffle breakfast a la me that everyone loved (real VT maple syrup and all, nach). Then we spent all afternoon and evening here, at the park six blocks from my house. City skyline, NY in the distance, and Lake Champlain made quite a splash with our out of state guests. Swimming was perfect, cookout on the grill - they all played RISK, while I read Harry Potter and played with the baby. Joy!
Anyway, he is forgiven, and all is well with the world. Except for my kitchen - what a mess! Ah well - the rest of the house (even our bedroom) is now GORGEOUS, so I'm having more folks over on Tuesday. Now if I can just keep it this nice!

One teensy gripe though - 10 people parading through my house, including my studio, and not a *single one* even mentioned or glanced at my work, or asked any questions. Sigh... Good thing that I don't really care what they think! (except about my housekeeping, obviously!)

Hi ho, hi ho...

... off to cleaning house I go....

More naps, hormones, chocolate, heat, Harry Potter, and cleaning. Pretty much in that order. Enough of the last that I am feeling good about our house again, and it still has FAR to go, so that's nice. Plus, I can now walk from one side of the living room to the other without having to step *over* the futon. Hurray!

Bestest part? Kevin is not only not ticked at me for doing more, he is very happy that I have been doing as much as I have, considering. Hurray! (Do I know that I am very lucky to have him and that he spoils me rotten?? Heck YES!!)

Anyway, deadlines are quickly approaching: Weird Quilts on the 15th, Indelible Spirit on the 30th (and I haven't even chosen a design yet! Yikes!), and a year overdue paper for my MSW class on choosing to parent with a disability, due early in the fall term. So - next week I promise to get back to work on all three projects, while continuing to work on homemaking. Loading my plate a little high? Yup - with yummy dishes like those, why not?!?!

Am I having fun yet?

No. Hormones suck. I'm *so* tired, even with naps, hot flashes in Aug are NOT a pleasant thing, all I want to eat is Phish Phood and chocolate covered raisins, I'm crying at DS9 episodes, b!tching at my husband and mother bigtime, and generally feeling horrible since this has also cranked up the dial on my fibromyalgia.

I've been doing some spinning, and I stained a new cltohespeg/shelfy thing for our bedroom (so as to get clothes off the floor) and the grand quest for Clean continues, albeit at snail's pace. I would be much better with this all if we didn't have folks arriving on Friday - I'm *just* enough of an old-fashioned girl that I feel like my home reflects upon me, and, well, I don't like the image, so it is hard to relax with so much to do.

Ah well. At least I cleaned the toilet yesterday! It is amazing how much more willing I am to get in all the crannies when I wearing gloves - surprise!

Partners in Clean: Week 3 - Curb Appeal

Sorry folks - I only just remembered that it is Monday!

We have a bunch of Kevin's friends coming next weekend from all over the country, and they have never seen our house. Therefore, this week in PIC - Curb Appeal. He is in charge of the outside (since he wants to have a BBQ - ha!) and I get the inside. Our front entryway is, well, between mail, stuff piled up from Kevin cleaning out his car (ie the Big Dump) and stuff in there for an as-yet-to-be-scheduled yard sale, and medieval stuff that needs a home, and...

You get the idea. Last week's Bill Basket helps with the new mail situation, but the front door is where we both dump our stuff as we come in, so...

I have my work cut out for me. I'll even post you a picture of it - when it is clean! Meanwhile, the rest of the house needs doing too, so I am using the "If I'm leaving a room and see something that needs to go where I am going, take it with me" approach. So far I've taken enough dirty dishes into the kitchen to fill the washer. Now if I can just stop eating for the rest of the week so I don't make more dishes! Lol...

Happy Lughnassadh!

This is a picture of our altar under the Grandfather Tree (a REALLY big white pine - that is my weaving bench serving as our altar!), where we celebrated Lughnassadh yesterday. This is the celebration of the First Harvest, and falls halfway between the summer solstice and the fall equinox.

These are some of the folks that attended our ritual and post-celebration picnic! I didn't take pictures of our swimming adventures afterward because our camera isn't waterproof, but I wore my tankini even with my fertility-enhanced waistline, so no one can say I don't have a positive body image! Lol...

Anyway - that is my adorable husband Kevin in the front - he missed most of ritual because he had to work, but got there in plenty of time to eat - surprise surprise! He's got a nasty ear infection today though, so I hope he feels better soon - we have a LOT of house/yard work to do before friends of his arrive for next weekend!

Art? Yeah right. I've felt like crud these last few days, and spent all Sunday on my crutches. Gotta love fertility drugs! My left thigh is one big bruise from injections, and energy and stamina are now considered four letter words. I HAVE been doing some spinning though - I'm spinning the wool that my MIL is going to knit into a sweater for my husband, and hopefully have enough left over for our bean, should he/she get off his/her keister and *sprout*! Wish us luck!

Slow motion

My body didn't really want to cooperate today, but I still had a productive planning meeting with my friend Annette to plan our Lughnassadh service for Sunday, and ate lots of cucumbers and melon while I was at it! Hurray!

Then I slept - lots. Friday nights DH Kevin teaches cardio kickboxing at the local Y, and then we watch the Sci Fi channel (Firefly, Stargates and then I go to bed while he watches the abomination that is the new Battlestar Gallactica), so I make dinner on Fri nights. He likes my jalfreezi, so coconut milk here I come! I guess I got intoxicated on the lovely aroma, because my counters, which didn't get full force treatment last week as originally planned, got it tonight. I'm pretty happy with the results!

Also, today is Friday, and my bills finally made it into their new home - the bill basket. I realized that I was never carrying them to where I *thought* the bill basket was going to be, so now it is on the kitchen table, where the bills invariably end up anyway. At least now they are contained and easily portable, while less likely to be catted off the table. Sounds like a plus to me!

My Day Off

Today was DH's day off work, so I took it off too - all work and no play makes Siggy a dull girl! (Siggy is DH's nickname for me - don't ask)

So - I went out to breakfast (gingerbread pancakes with VT maple syrup, crisy bacon, and buckets of tea!) with my dear friend Tracy and her twin girls, Kira (on the left) and Amelia (on the right). I'm the wrapped around their chubby little fingers thing in the middle! Today is their 11 month birthday, and I want to finish at least Kira's quilt for their birthday. Wish me luck!

After out outing, I came home and did a little bit of spinning (since it is cool enough to even *think* about handling wool, and I couldn't pass up the chance!), and set up new pool with DH Kevin. I'll show you pictures of it and our fabu landscaping tomorrow, but right now I am off to continue listening to Kevin read the new Harry Potter to me, and more spinning before CSI night. Enjoy!

Keep Swoops the *&$*#$ AWAY from my sewing machine!!!

ARGH!!!!

I am SO glad that I actually made a practice sandwich to work on today. My sewing machine worked *perfectly* yesterday. Today? I change threads and go to do *the exact same thing* - no changed settings or anything - just threads. And the bobbin tension was whacked. I changed it back *to the original threads* and it was STILL whacked. Unhappiness reigned.

I fiddled and changed, and fiddled and practiced and changed again, and finally got it working perfectly. Then I moved to a different part of the quilt. I didn't even change threads. Guess what? Whack City! ARGH! Add to this that I went to snip a thread while I was on the phone and took a 1/4 inch long chunk out of the edge of my almost finished quilt, and I am NOT happy with this progress.

I requested a temporary restraining order, and the 'quilt' is no longer allowed within five feet of my sewing machine. When it broke said restraining order and reappeared on my sewing table (I had NOTHING to do with that, mind you), I put it under house arrest on the design wall. It is being held there with straight pin restraints on all four corners so that it cannot escape and commit more heinous acts of whacked free motion quilting.

In the meantime, to console myself, I worked on my face for the QA mag challenge: and struck gold. I really enjoyed expressing my frustration with it, and I decided that the sample sandwich I had made and seen abused earlier being *precisely* 8.5 inches wide was an omen. Therefore, here is: "Seeing Red"
And you know what cinched it? I started quilting this with monofilament at the bottom, and it worked fine. Until I moved up to the nose, where it started making loop de loops again! As a result, only the tags and collar at the bottom are anything other than just fused down. C'est la vie. I quit!

'Couch' refers to furniture!!!

Wow. I have just been ON THE GO all day. I've taken off maybe 45 minutes since 6 AM, and here it is 4 PM. That might not sound huge to you, but with my body? Lol - that is a marathon day!

Couch from now on only refers to furniture; I have discovered the joys of bobbin work! OH MY HEAD - why I ****ever**** thought I'd couch the black lines in swoops, I have NO idea. This is FAR superior. I am sewing it with regular thread from the front first, then flipping it, replacing my bobbin, and sewing it again. In a couple of spots where I've deviated from the original line I've gone back and ripped out the original bits, and in some other bits where the original line is more accurate, I will tack the wayward bobbin thread back into position with a few hand stitches.

Here's a picture of the Spike part, as it currently stands:

And here is the back of the same area: (I love Melody's idea of fusing the back on AFTERWARD - I don't need to do much with all these loose ends! Hurray!)

I painted up another tablefull of cloth, and fused up three batches, and got started on my face for the QA mag challenge - I love having colored in my sketch and being able to go to my hand-painted stash and pulling out EXACTLY what I want. No "this will do's" for me! And best of all? If it turns out that I *haven't* already made exactly the color or combo that I want, I can go whip it up and have it on the cutting board that afternoon. Joy, Joy, Joy!!!!

I still haven't sketched Hormone Head, and I obviously need to get cracking on it, but the fact that I start my injectible medications again tonight should help inspire me! rotfl...

And Jen, who commented that I am getting so much art and organizing done lately? May fortune smile on you! You made my day! (Nothing like having one's efforts recognized, eh?) Thanks!

Partners in Clean: Week 2

I heard a great strategy the other day: if I job will take no more than 30 seconds, do it immediately. I don't know about you, but I usually spend WAY more time thinking/stressing/procrastinating about some task than it would actually take, so this piece of advice was a good one!

Reporting on Week 1:
I still haven't sorted all of my magazines, but at least have spare boxes now for when I DO sort them all. Also, I didn't get the entire kitchen counter cleaned, but got all around the edges of the dishes. Pathetic, but true. I did about 3 loads of dishes, and I swear my husband ate like 9 meals a day even though he didn't get home until 4 PM! Ah well. It is still an improvement!

Progress in a day, not perfection in an hour!!!!

So - This week is a habit week, so... what new habit do YOU want to add to your life?

I started making my bed a few weeks ago, and WOW does it make a difference! I think that for this week I am going to (finally!) designate a basket for bills as they come in. You'd think that this would have been a no brainer, but it hasn't happened yet, pathetically! Mom even just gave me a neato basket that will do until I find something more permanent so I can have my basket back. I even know where I am going to put it! (feeling very virtuous!)

That might not seem like a big deal, but since I start my meds again this week, I will probably feel pretty cruddy, and a simply met goal sounds like a big plus. Besides, habits don't have to be a big deal since they will continue to pay benefits for years to come, and I DID do a lot last week! ;)

In Bloom!

Just made these dandy little postcards to celebrate having finally gotten my period again, 8 weeks after my miscarriage and having taken stupid drugs to bring it on. Hormone Head became full out Hormone BODY last night, with 14 hours of sleep feeling like about 6 with all the pain and rotten dreams, but - it was worth it! Hurray!

Off to sketch the 'official' Hormone Head for Indelible Spirit, and maybe work on the QA mag self portrait challenge. I did a little sketch for it the other day that looks pretty goofy, but that is usually how I see myself anyway. One of my personal goals for my life is to take myself just seriously enough and no more than that. Amen.

The Magic Bus needs YOU!

Ok folks, it still looks like a bus on acid (how *very* 1970's of me!), but it really does need your help - it is all fused to batting and ready for quilting. I started quilting some of the 'disconnect' lines - which I put there deliberately, thank you very much! - and decided that they need to be heavier, so they will be couched with black crochet cotton instead.

But I have no idea what else to do with it. I tried doing the pebbled thing on a sampler, and it just isn't working for me, so that option just isn't going to cut it. I am an advanced beginner FMQer, and I don't have much in the way of variegated threads, and none of them without blue in them! I like monofilament, as it goes with everything and is very forgiving.

So, PLEASE tell me what to do with this! Yes, it can wait a while, but I just assume actually finish something for once, so your ideas are most appreciated! Thanks in advance!

So much for that idea...

I saw a SQ yesterday where they talked about how easily one can cut matching templates from two pieces of freezer paper ironed shiny sides together. It sounded like a neato trick, so I thought I'd try it for my Hawaiian applique project. I drew and I cut, and I traced and I cut again. I was so pleased with myself! I left it alone last night so fabric selections could percolate in my dreams.

NOT. First of all, my dreams were crappy, and I needed Sonji to cheer me up this morning. Second, all happy from Sonji's ministrations, I went to peel the pieces apart to audition some selected fabrics. Then my os-so-pleased-with-my-self ness vanished - the suckers wouldn't come apart! ARGH! Now I have a much heavier template to trace, AGAIN, and all the while, the perfect fabric eludes me. Narf.

BTW - I *know* that this looks uber-phallic, but it was the best I could come up with that would allow for some cool shadow quilting. I'm not into the floral thing, and was sort of going for an 'aliens landed on Maui, and this is what they made' sort of style... I guess they are just penis obsessed aliens, and no wonder, since the little green guys in the movies never seem to have any. Of course, that could be because life clever enough to get across the galaxy is obviously *female*, but I promised Sonji that I wouldn't make my husband feel obsolete today, so I'll keep that idea in reserve. Until tomorrow. Did I mention that I am reading 'Adam's Curse'? Gotta love that puny little Y chromosome - it makes for all sorts of cute butts and hunky shoulders.... ah - I feel better now! Hurray for stuck together phallic templates!

In other news, here is my spiffy, newly organized, under the window bookcase and yarn-that-I'll-never-use storage unit. It was in my Dad's office when I was a child, and fortunately it needed a home at the same time I needed furniture, so voila! I DESPISE that 'slim books and magazine slump' that occurs when such are put into a bookcase, so magazine holders to the rescue! I have books in the ones on the long shelf, and they act as dividers between all the subjects therein! Ain't I clever!?!? All of my old weaving books (what I did before I quilted) are on the right, and I *obviously* need to sell some of those to make room for more quilting books. My magazines are on the lower shelf, all neatly organized and labelled, I might add, and the shelf above them is going to hold my bolts of fabric for painting/dyeing when I:

* a) move the dulcimer upstairs into the music room (guest room that holds all of our musical instruments, since we never play them anyway, but which will look deliciously pretentious, don't you think? 2 hammered dulcimers, 2 mountain dulcimers, 2 guitars, several antique recorders, DH's harp, and metronomes, tuners, music stands and pitch pipes as accents!)

*b) find a home for my Braille slate and stylus (from my working at Perkin's School for the Blind days many eons ago) and,

*c) win the lottery so I can buy multiple whole bolts of fabric at one time. Please donate your winning tickets accordingly! ;)


And, last but not least, I leave you with another shot of my studio, this time the painting table in the gorgeous morning light. The junk behind it is on top of the aforementioned bookcase, and the wooden toolbox I found for a buck at a yard sale a few weeks ago. Could it be better?!?!?! NPR in the background, dapppled sunshine, birdsong, DH fast asleep, and projects and Phish Phood waiting for me. Ah - back to work!

Much better!

You are going to need to turn your head again, but I think this looks MUCH better than before, even if it *does* look a bit like a bus in this orientation! This is for the Straight and Narrow challenge on the QA board, and I'm pretty happy with how it is coming along. See all of those artfully designed 'misalignments'? I planned it that way! Really!

Well, not really, but while fusing in the sashing strips I decided that I like it better this way anyway; *obviusly* the planned work of my subconscious inner artist! I am going to sew quilting lines along where the paths 'could' have gone, which I think will look interesting. I still have to add the bubbles, but that can just plain wait for tomorrow. So there.

I have put fusing on the back of the whole thing (since parts of it were foundation pieced) and will fuse it to batting next, then quilt it, then put on the backing and fuse on a binding. Did I mention that Melody is my hero? Well, it should be fairly obvious by now! :)

Also? It is bucketing outside - thunderstorms and cool air. How can you beat it? It was actually cool enough to have the iron on all day! Wahoo!!!

Ta Da!!!

BIG breakthrough yesterday - the culmination of many of your influences, I might add!

Remember my perpetually stalled on the design wall piece, Swoops and Spikes? Here's an old picture of how it has looked since about January:

I wasn't really happy with either the pale yellow background, or with the yellow stripe. Way too blah. So it languished, waiting for inspiration; mostly Melody and the Chicago School of Fusing, and Pam RuBert and her sidekick PaMdora!!! Thanks, ladies!!!!!

SO:
I am WAY happier now. I overdyed the pale yellow ground with two sets of paint washes, and junked all the colored stripes for plain black, and added an extra border of black between the polka dot fabric and the ground, to make it stand out more. I haven't figured out what this is all going to do to my adding a black background to the overall composition, but time will tell.

The piece is actually supposed to be vertical, but I can't figure out how to turn images yet, so turn your head instead, ok? The last, bottom block, needed to be reworked to accomodate the new black edge on the dotted fabric, so it will get constructed today. Hopefully it won't languish for want of a background thereafter!!!

And, since Teri and others have been so kind as to oblige with their clean and messy studio pictures, here's my main desk and new ironing table in need of a real tidy - but I doubt that yesterday's progress would have happened without either the new desk or the associated clutter!

As far as my PIC progress goes, Mr Clean Magic Eraser sponges DO work great, but get GRODY looking after only one use. Ah well. I've made great progress on my main kitchen counter, and even scrubbed the stove. I also washed the plate inside my microwave, but only because I accidentally melted an entire stick of butter on it, rather than from any inate virtue on my part!

I also went to Staples and Barns and Snowballs yesterday, to get magazine holders and to drool, respectively. I got the new QA, and am going to set up new magazine holders for my vast horde today. Hurray!

** All of that said, I was reminded yesterday, by a nest of ants, that we are human BEINGS, not human DOINGS, and I continue to not 'be' very well emotionally due to these stupid hormones. I read the QA mag portrait challenge, and came up with a cute draft drawing for it, but I'm still thinking that a larger, different, 'Hormone Head' will be my piece for Indelible Spirit. I have all these deadlines looming, so it is a TERRIFIC thing that I am actually starting to cruise a little bit! Hurray!

Grotesque

I've been hearing about the self-portrait challenge in QA magazine, and I am thinking of doing a really grotesque one. Not that that is how I feel about myself or anything, but it could be fun to play with.

I am *contemplating* actually using the same piece for my Indelible Spirit challenge piece, since I am having major issues with deciding on a design for it (either WAY too depressing, or WAY OH MY GODDESS OVER THE TOP pookie and twee). I'm thinking of calling it "My brain on exogenous hormones" - I'm on my final day of provera (progesterone) today, and cycle day 54, still no sign of my #$@#O$#)$* period.

On the other hand, DH and I had a chat last night about how pretty much all of my pieces deal with some major psychological issue I'm working on - and that can be pretty darned *draining*. I'm thinking that I need to work on a piece that is just a quilt for once (gasp!)- maybe the face thing (which, while about an issue, is about one that I don't need to spend 'process' time on - gods - I sound like I'm in therapy!), or on our VTAQ Hawaiian applique challenge - simple but sweet. Handwork even goes with CSI, so how can I lose?

Now I'm just waiting for the shops to open so I can go get QA mag, some white fabric paint, some black/white and white/white prints at Joann's to experiment painting on (thanks for the idea, Marilyn!), and some more wools from the needlepoint shop which is only open three days a week.

DH Kevin is in his orientation week at the nursing home - he's just getting recerted as an LNA, and he HATES it. He knows that it is a stepping stone to his LPN (and maybe RN later) but he considers it warehousing old people, and it just gets him so DOWN. I'm trying to talk him into doing home health aid work, or VNA or something - folks in their own homes, living their own lives, who just need a little support to do so... Anyway, he has the weekend off (big bonus), and has graciously agreed to help me move furniture so I can see/hear the TV from the stuido - I gotta hear my DS9, afterall!!!!

Time

Melody (Fibermania) has a great blog today about how the heck she gets so much done. She points out that she doesn't have kids, so that gives her an extra five hours a day right there! I had noticed that myself - it seems like most of the really prolific/famous folks either have no children, or have children who have grown and flown the coop.

So what is my excuse? I try not to make excuses for my life, but there *are* reasons. Having a disability is usually a part-time job, but other times I should get overtime! (and a job with no scheduled vacations? What's with *that*!?!?!)

I can plan all I like, but I have to listen to what my body is willing to let me do, and then see if any part of my plans will still work. On days when I can't do much of anything, I lie in bed and design dream quilts. I get some neat ideas this way, and it is very relaxing. Plus, DH thinks that I am asleep, so he doesn't kibitz at me!

Today, for example - I want to get back to my painting work, but I've got this new symptom lately - massive morning foot cramps - and that just isn't conducive to standing and painting. Yes, I could paint sitting down, but then I'd strain my back trying to get the paint where I want it, and yes, I could wait until later in the day, but then it is too hot for me, so... You see the problems. So, I think today will be a) ready the painting table for painting again (it got covered in bill paying activities!) b)give the background pieces for Swoops (still UFO!) an over-dye to lose the flatness there, c) do some more work for the twin's quilts (traditional, and therefore a pain, but to be appreciated by their Mom...), d) do the dishes that DH didn't get to yesterday (mostly pans etc, and part of my PIC Counters initiative), and then, finally, albeit interspersed throughout the day, e) sit on my tuchus and enjoy the fact that DH is at work so I can watch DS9 in peace. Ok, today is just his orientation, so he might be home by then, but I can pretend, right? Right????

BTW - I have heard recently that CFIDS/Fibromyalgia, especially with the symptom set I have and am continually developing, and more especially with the Human Herpes Virus #6 that started my symptom cascade, is documented as leading to relapsing/remitting MS. They've been testing me for it for most of the last decade, including during that middle of the night numbness episode back in May, so I've known for a long time that that might be in my future, and this new news doesn't surprise me. I know that it would mean a progressive path, but mine has been anyway, even though all the Doctors say it shouldn't be doing that. It would, however, also mean having a disease that everyone a) has heard of, and b) believes exists, c) doesn't think means that I am crazy. It would also be a disease that there is actually *treatment* for. Known drugs, research dollars, acceptance by the FDA and SSA. I figure that I have, or will have, whatever I have or will have - getting a more 'serious' label would just get me better/more treatment options, and less overall hassle with my health and life care. It could be worse....

Partners in Clean: Week One!!!

Ok, ok, the bills didn't get paid yet. Tuesday's mail, I promise. Really. Strange but true, we spent our six month anniversary visiting my parents. We even had fun! But, bills didn't get paid, since I napped in the car both ways. Ah well...

That said, I didn't get any suggestions for a kick in the butt for this week either. So - I figured that I would give us all three choices/tasks for the week.

You can do several things from one category, or one thing each from the three categories, or, for the seriously-lacking-in-willpower and/or time, try and do one thing from one of the categories! We'll be tackling habits next week, so keep your thinking caps on this week as you work on: Finances, Magazines, and Counters!

FINANCES:
*Pay bills - hopefully without late charges!
*Actually *read* bills to make sure they accurately reflect the services you have received.
*Balance checkbook.
*Make an extra payment against debt, if you can.
*Look into consildating student loans before the rules change and you can't anymore.
*Check on how your investments are performing, if you have any!
*Check the assessed value of your home/rent amount against other homes of the same type in your area.
*Start an IRA, especially if your company offers matching funds - free money is GOOD!
*Check around for better insurance rates and make sure that you have the coverage you need, ie is your fancy sewing machine covered?!
*Work out a payment plans with a creditor - local folks might take barter, but value of said is still taxable...
*Start a savings account (even just in a jar in your dresser if it doesn't add up to much yet) - and make it for something specific if that helps motivate you!
*Read a personal finance magazine. Money is good for starters, or Bottom Line or Kiplinger's if you are more advanced...
*Suggest something equally financially savvy to the group!

MAGAZINES:
*Check expiration dates, and decide if you want to re-up.
*Organize them for easier retrieval or just to get them out of the way. *Donate/recycle issues you no longer need.
*Actually photocopy or rip out articles/images you *really* need and then file them or do something with them, other than just pile them up!
*Check the magazine section at your local bookstore and read them over lunch to save money (NZ Quilter anyone?), or see if you can find one that would be a special treat for yourself if you want to bribe yourself with goodies or have a title ready to provide the next time someone asks what you want for your next gift giving celebration! You might even find one with useful info for your organizing or business needs, like the Craft Report!

COUNTERS:
*Do dishes so you can actually see them!
*Bleach nasty stains out if needed.
*Check out if you really need all that stuff OUT instead of IN cabinets!
*Buy yourself a new sponge. They hold germs like you wouldn't believe.
*Get a lid/mug/tea/other rack to keep things less cluttered.
*Put dirty cutlery all in one bowl or jar for easy loading/washing later.
*Actually wash the drying rack. Otherwise, why bother washing *anything?*
*Wash and refill storage containers. Trust me - whatever was in them is NASTY by now.
*Make sure that your dyeing and painting equipment is NO WHERE NEAR FOOD or anything that will ever touch food again. That includes not rinsing brushes in a sink with eating stuff in it! Hint: I tied yarn around the handles of the measuring spoons and cups that I use for dyeing, so I know never to use them for food again...


For my part, I will tend to:

-Finances: Pay bills (really!), read Money Mag (done already), put mad money Mom gave me into savings towards new bolts and upgraded sewing machine.

-Magazines: Recycle remaining Time Mags, buy more holders and continue magazine avalanche prevention project, get renewal notice to Dad so he can re-up me AND save money with pre-expiration rates (done)!

-Counters: Do the blessed dishes (it is a wonder the cats didn't shatter them all over the weekend!), bleach counters, break out new sponge, keep pans out of the sink for easier disposal of paint-polluted water.

Not too bad for a plan for the week. BTW - I am going to start putting up PICtures (pictures with a Partners In Clean spin to them). Who wants to see my dirty dishes and counters, before and after shots! (we'll save dirty laundry for another week - yikes!) Sounds scary, but it will motivate me, and you all can feel really good about yourselves looking at my messes! BUT, if you want to put up your OWN PICtures, go right ahead! I don't know if you can put them in comments or not, but you can a) put them in your own blog and give us a link, or b) send them to me and I'll put them up here for all of our motivational pleasure.

So, get working folks, and let us know how it is going for you!

WANTED: Partner in Clean

"Hello, my name is Susan, and I am a slob."

With 8 years of disability, countless roommates having moved in and out, fiber stuff in every available space, and packrat, dysfunctionally disorganized parents who didn't teach me how to be anything else, I am a mess, and my house shows it.

When I was 12, I decided to stop being violent when my pricipal said 'knock it off, or its going on your transcript.'

When I was about 23, I decided to stop being late when my best friend admitted to fudging about what time events started so I would show up on time.

So, here I am, 33 years old, and my objective for this decade is to stop being a slob. Not as easy to start in on cold turkey as the other two were, but I am older, so maybe it *should* get more challenging.

I've read every organizing book out there, and it *has* helped, but I have a long way to go. As of last week, I now make my bed every morning when I get out of it. Since I often go back for a nap or to read, it never seemed worth it, but now I just pull it together (about 10 seconds worth of work) and it looks much better all day long. Plus, since that is where I fold laundry, I am getting that chore done much more regularly now too.

My studio is VERY organized, as are my books. My stuff is actually pretty well organized, but it still 'overflows'. I just read the book "How not to be a Messy" by Sandra Felton, and, if you can get around the constant Christian quotes, it is a really useful book. I had never before looked at the psychological reasons why I keep so much stuff.

My mother grew up in WW2 England, with ration books and all that. She still keeps every piece of string, every rubber band, and hordes brown paper like she may never see it again. Likewise, my dad grew up in depression era Boston, and does much the same, with old tools especially.

The running gag in their house is that if they were illiterate their home would be immaculate: magazines, books, business records going back to the 60's - you name it. Plus, Dad has to keep all of his unread newspapers (in brown paper bags) until he has a chance to go through them and take cuttings. He needs a photocopy of every document conceivably related to business or money before it leaves his posession. Needless to say, their home is a MAJOR fire trap.

So, growing up with all that, I do what I learned (to some extent!) Plus, I keep all of my books - especially the heavy tomes from my college days - as a way of proving that I am a bright, educated person. Without books on neuroscience lying around the house, how is anyone ever going to know that I am a scientist!?!?!?

Yeah, I have issues. I think the same applies with some of my fiber stuff. For years, I figured that no one would take my work seriously, unless it looked like I had a serious amount of stuff. As a result, I have two HUGE bags of dyed locks crammed into my linen cupboard, and no access to a drum carder to actually be able to use it!

I have an entire shelf of pregnancy and baby books (not including magazines!), which I use like a fetish to hope that I will one day actually get to use them!!! Pretty stupid waste of money, too, since they pretty much all say the same thing...

SO - My husband is going along with my new resolve (kind of like the smoker who quits every week) to make this place habitable!!! If for NO other reason, than that when I DO actually have a child, my home in its current condition would take a dumpster to babyproof.

But, in order to make this resolve less of a flash in the pan prospect, I thought I'd ask if any other quilters out there (since so much of my anarchy is studio stuff) might want to join me as my Partners in Clean! We can cheer each other on, keep the momentum going, and chat about quilt art while we are at it!

Any takers????????????

gratitude

You know, I don't do things for the thanks, but I really feel like gratitude just isn't a habit that is taught anymore. I went and interpreted for a 10 year old deaf girl for three hours this morning, out in the sun. I had to drive 45 min each way to get there. Afterward, the Mom said "thanks for coming out and helping us", and she said it like I'd watched her bag for ten minutes.

On top of that, an old friend sent me baby pictures the other week, and I figured that he was just oblivious (as new parents can be) to the fact that it might have been nice to have known that they were pregnant *before* getting mass emailed the birth story, especially since they know how hard (and long) I've been trying to get pregnant. His only acknowledgement of my recent miscarriage was that my husband is obviously fertile! His kid is like 2 weeks old, and he's already all about work and fixing his deck. It just bugs me when folks don't realize how good they've got it, you know?

Meanwhile, I make a daily point of telling my husband how much I appreciate him. I look him in the eye and say thank you when he makes me a salad, or does a special load of laundry for my studio stuff. I have a great husband, and I make sure that he knows it! In fact, I heard a few folks bad mouthing 'men' the other month, and said that, actually, my husband does most of the cooking and grocery shopping, and all of the machine laundry. I do dishes and folding, since they are things that I can do a little bit at a time. He and I both wish that I could do more, but he still makes me feel that my efforts are appreciated too.

Anyone read 'Simple Abundance'? I do the gratitude thing. First on my list every day is my family and friends. Second is that I can walk today (if it is a day when I can't I am grateful that I could before, and will again!) So, today's 3-5 are:

*that I did something for someone else, and still feel good about it, even though I don't feel appreciated by the folks I did it for

*the gorgeous lilies that I saw today, just about ready to bloom

*the fact that the electric department takes checks by phone so that I didn't have to go out in the heat again today to pay my bill when I came home to having had my power turned off (oops! Guess I missed that one on bill day!)

Night all - I appreciate you!