Could I catch a break? Please?

Frustration mounts.

A little backstory: I've been trying to get pregnant since the beginning of 2003. My husband only came along recently, and before that I was trying with a sperm donor. There have been a lot of starts and stops along the road so far; anovulatory cycles and a LEEP procedure (to biopsy my cervix because my Pap came back positive) being the most notable.

Well, now that I have a game plan for getting going on injectible fertility meds and maybe IVF (depending on what my HSG show tomorrow - a test where they fill one's uterus with dye to see if one has clear fallopian tubes), I get a call yesterday from my NP saying that my recent Pap shows abnormal cells again, and that they want another look (colposcopy). They can do this even if I'm pregnant, and she assured me that this should have no impact on my trying. If the results are bad though, I'll probably need another LEEP to clear it up, and that will mean getting benched for another 3 months, unless I get pregnant first! (Like I needed any *more* motivation to get pregnant!)

Add to this the fact that all of my current studio projects (with maybe the exception of my most current, but even that deals with my fertility woes obliquely) are either for other people's babies, or about the lack of my own. My studio *used* to be my escape from all this craziness, and now it too is full of it.

Today I drown myself in my new cable TV and a great scifi novel I picked up for a buck at B&N. Talk about foresight...