My birthday has been grand. My day started off with waking up next to my daughter, Rowyn, and the huge wet spot created by her leaking diaper. Kevin made pancakes for our breakfast, and the girls sat to the big table for the first time (coffee table in the superyard, but with them pulled right up to it, with our traditional family lucky pennies tied to the frame), and used plates and ate pancakes for the first time; all during Little Einsteins. Dana even fed me a non-drooled on bite of hers before she flipped her plate and sent the rest of hers flying. Morning nap time was a hassle, but the girls and I all got under the sheet and I hit it up with my hands, and they loved it.
We were supposed to go to an SCA event today, but the snowstorm put the cabosh on that plan. Our backup was to go to the ECHO aquarium here on Lake Champlain, but lovely long phone calls from Page and Susan (both in Texas, believe it or not) took up most of our time before afternoon nap was supposed to start, but didn't! Kevin eventually loaded the girls in the car for a before-dinner wind-down while I ironed my pants (I'm officially back in a size 14! Hurray!) and frosted my own chocolate cake. Then we were off to Olive Garden, where nine friends awaited us - Tracy, Jim and their twins, Paley and her son Declan, and Maya, Annette and her partner Danny. It was grand, and we had between us the five best behaved toddlers on the planet. Paley drove a total of four hours just to be at dinner with us. I am so blessed.
Rowyn and Dana both even had their first bites of chocolate cake (the first chocolate/junk food we have actually given them); Dana predictably loved it, while Rowyn wanted nothing to do with it, opting instead for more Cherrios. All of the kids were really sweet and good, and Maya even did magic tricks for us between courses. It was great fun, and the same crew will be together for R&D's birthday next month, so even better!
I wore my lotus perfume tonight. Lotus is sacred to Kwan Yin; the Most Merciful, the Hearer of Cries. Talking to her helped me deal with the rollercoaster of trying to get pregnant, and now here I am - bookended by sweet little girls at my 35th birthday dinner. It seemed appropriate, as gratitude always does.
My presents, too, spoke of how blessed I am. Not in the receiving, but in the understanding and love my friends have for me - a candle holder carved from solid salt, a set of multicolored inks for my illumination, the upgrade to EQ6, a book on spiritual travel adventures by a collection of women writers (A Woman's Path), and a bouquet of daffodils, my favorite flower.
And we still get to go to ECHO tomorrow.
I might not like this getting old thing, but if it means knowing myself and being known so well by those I love, then I'll take it.
Showing posts with label getting old. Show all posts
Showing posts with label getting old. Show all posts
3.17.2007
3.16.2007
The Cusp
I'm about to turn 35. I'm not sure how I feel about it. I know that '40 is the new 20' and all that jazz, but I feel like I am really leaving my youth behind. Someone asked me if I felt this way because of my kids, and I really don't think that is it; more like I feel like this is my BODY leaving my youth behind - just starting to begin my midlife now instead.
I actually LIKE my white hairs, and the girls are already starting to get me into better shape than I have been in a while, and that is just going to continue as they (and I with them) get more active. My skin hasn't bounced back from my stretch marks like it might have a decade ago, but I am happy to have them since they brought me my girls. So maybe that isn't it...
My lifestyle is pretty juvenile - post-c0llege furniture hodge podge, and no organized way of dealing with the running of our home. I think I am feeling like a) I should be better at this part of my life by now, and b) that I WANT to be better at this part of my life now, so my girls can grow up in a home that doesn't look like the Goodwill exploded in it.
An older friend of mine has a pin that says "if you haven't had to grow up by the time you are 35, you obviously don't have to." Dangling verb aside, I agree. We both have more education to get for impending career changes, but many of our generation do that. I like the time we spend together, and, mostly, how we spend it. Our communication skills and involvement in our communities are good - better than most, actually. I can still play like a kid, and live in my yoga pants, but I CAN do the whole dressed for success thing, and DO so when I am in a professional environment. I feel like we are pretty well adjusted - outside of our property boundary.
Inside? Not so much. Chores happen when our superegos nag us into compliance. In our professional lives we ususally do more than asked, but at home, where it impacts our girls' every waking moment? They are my biggest motivators to change in this department.
I said over a year ago that this is my decade to get organized and start running my home like an adult. My girls are almost one year old, and I am really starting to feel better. I have carved out some time for me to take the girls out, and for me to have time for myself and my creative work. Now it is time for me to get serious about improving my daily life. This kind of chaos is a pattern that I grew up with, and thus repeated. I need to model better for my girls, and I will.
Meanwhile, my disappointment at not having a party apparently made an impression on my husband, and I am actually getting a birthday party. :) Did I mention that I still know how to play like a kid?
I actually LIKE my white hairs, and the girls are already starting to get me into better shape than I have been in a while, and that is just going to continue as they (and I with them) get more active. My skin hasn't bounced back from my stretch marks like it might have a decade ago, but I am happy to have them since they brought me my girls. So maybe that isn't it...
My lifestyle is pretty juvenile - post-c0llege furniture hodge podge, and no organized way of dealing with the running of our home. I think I am feeling like a) I should be better at this part of my life by now, and b) that I WANT to be better at this part of my life now, so my girls can grow up in a home that doesn't look like the Goodwill exploded in it.
An older friend of mine has a pin that says "if you haven't had to grow up by the time you are 35, you obviously don't have to." Dangling verb aside, I agree. We both have more education to get for impending career changes, but many of our generation do that. I like the time we spend together, and, mostly, how we spend it. Our communication skills and involvement in our communities are good - better than most, actually. I can still play like a kid, and live in my yoga pants, but I CAN do the whole dressed for success thing, and DO so when I am in a professional environment. I feel like we are pretty well adjusted - outside of our property boundary.
Inside? Not so much. Chores happen when our superegos nag us into compliance. In our professional lives we ususally do more than asked, but at home, where it impacts our girls' every waking moment? They are my biggest motivators to change in this department.
I said over a year ago that this is my decade to get organized and start running my home like an adult. My girls are almost one year old, and I am really starting to feel better. I have carved out some time for me to take the girls out, and for me to have time for myself and my creative work. Now it is time for me to get serious about improving my daily life. This kind of chaos is a pattern that I grew up with, and thus repeated. I need to model better for my girls, and I will.
Meanwhile, my disappointment at not having a party apparently made an impression on my husband, and I am actually getting a birthday party. :) Did I mention that I still know how to play like a kid?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
