If any of you sweet souls (five more comments! Love abounds!) are ever wanting to break into the clothing industry, PLEASE make twin/triplet maternity clothes. Most of us needing said items are older, wiser and richer (infertility is NOT a cheap diagnosis) and we can't find anything to wear! I have ONE pair of 'maternity' pants that still fit, and I am not even 5 months in yet! Only a pair of 2x sweats that I got cheap still fit (along with some self-made drawstrings!) - so I have NO idea what I am going to wear for the next several months, and can't even sit to the sewing machine to make myself anything! Why hasn't someone else done this, you ask? Because the only folks who know of the need have their hands full with too many babies to meet it for others!!! Anyway, you'd make a killing - trust me!
And, since you gals are so open about our real lives, I'll tell you something I haven't told most: My belly is offically bigger than my ass, hips included. Oi. (Not to mention other delightful aspects of pregnancy that I never read about in books - a line of dark hair crawiling up to my bra line, pubic hair on all sorts of heretofore nonhirsute real estate, and that my chest looks like a road map - huge blue highways and rivers coming form all quarters to plunge into the twin metropoli of my areaolas. I swear they are each bigger than MY mouth, let alone those of my wee babes!
Anyway, my point is this - I am revelling in my body right now. Grossly uncomfortable (and sometimes just plain gross), not to mention painful (both girls have thier heads on the same side, along with one body, so my belly button points off at about 1:30, I'm so lopsided), and I love it. I can't stop rubbing my belly, and not just to try and shove little girls to the East. I have been looking for picutes of pregnant models to draw from, and can't find any outside of Geddes work. I think I need to get Kevin to take some - blue rivers and all!
No cleaning today (sloth is a virtue when you are going to be a twin mom, or so my Dr keeps telling me), but I'm pouring lots of creative energy into figuring out how to share my queen size bed with my husband, my two girls, and two VERY large cats. I am trying NOT to go with the obvious; hurling them all out of the room, but sleep would be MUCH harder now if I weren't so dang tired all the time anyway!
As for maids and mothers - can't afford it, and lives to far away (and just got over shingles herself!) So - little bits here and there. Our living room is now in livable condition (for the first time in many months), and I'm even having company over today. Enjoy!
12.30.2005
12.29.2005
I feel so loved!
TWO people actually read my last post in the first 24 hours - and even commented on it! You folks have real tenacity! Thank you!
For all of my old Partners in Clean, I took 20 minutes to get rid of trash and dishes yesterday, and 20 to just declutter today, and, while still not CLEAN (please don't look at my carpet), my living room is now a MUCH mentally-healthier place to be. Hurray! (Way better than trying to get my husband to do it too!)
My quiet day yesterday? Played Civ 4 and read some of the sequel to Simple Abundance, called Something More, by Sarah Ban Breathnach; all about grown-up authentic selves. I've been reading about passion, and have been itching to get into the studio, but clearing mental and physical clutter and knowing that I am lucky because at least I KNOW what I want to be doing, are all good things. Besides, most of the last few years, I have been throwing myself into my art since I couldn't throw myself into parenting yet- who knew I'd end up longing the other way?
Don't get me wrong - I am thrilled to be pregnant, but I also know that I am about to take a major leap in my life, and I want to make sure to pack up all of the really important parts of me for the journey. Some bits of me that I won't have tons of time for I won't mind leaving behind, but my artistically creative self? Heck no - first thing in my carry-on bag!!!
I think that the biggest thing that I got out of yesterday is that I am still just as much of an artist, even if I am not doing art right now. I am being an artist rather than doing art right now, that's all. But it is an ok thing, since I am a human being, and not a human doing anyway.
On the no-art for Christmas comment I made, my mother was surprised that no one got me the Caran D'ache watercolor crayons I asked for, and said she'd get them for me for my birthday in March. The idea that she's going to get me art supplies right around the time the babies could be here any minute was very validating for me - not that I needed it, but it is nice to know that she anticipates my doing art when the girls are small - maybe not much, but some is better than none!
Today's agenda? Cleaning and sleeping until noon? Check. Email, civ 4 and maybe some holiday cards until Kevin wakes up at 3:30? Sounds good. Going to the bookstore immediately thereafter to spend gift certificates and get a sequel that I NEED!?!? Heck yes!
For all of my old Partners in Clean, I took 20 minutes to get rid of trash and dishes yesterday, and 20 to just declutter today, and, while still not CLEAN (please don't look at my carpet), my living room is now a MUCH mentally-healthier place to be. Hurray! (Way better than trying to get my husband to do it too!)
My quiet day yesterday? Played Civ 4 and read some of the sequel to Simple Abundance, called Something More, by Sarah Ban Breathnach; all about grown-up authentic selves. I've been reading about passion, and have been itching to get into the studio, but clearing mental and physical clutter and knowing that I am lucky because at least I KNOW what I want to be doing, are all good things. Besides, most of the last few years, I have been throwing myself into my art since I couldn't throw myself into parenting yet- who knew I'd end up longing the other way?
Don't get me wrong - I am thrilled to be pregnant, but I also know that I am about to take a major leap in my life, and I want to make sure to pack up all of the really important parts of me for the journey. Some bits of me that I won't have tons of time for I won't mind leaving behind, but my artistically creative self? Heck no - first thing in my carry-on bag!!!
I think that the biggest thing that I got out of yesterday is that I am still just as much of an artist, even if I am not doing art right now. I am being an artist rather than doing art right now, that's all. But it is an ok thing, since I am a human being, and not a human doing anyway.
On the no-art for Christmas comment I made, my mother was surprised that no one got me the Caran D'ache watercolor crayons I asked for, and said she'd get them for me for my birthday in March. The idea that she's going to get me art supplies right around the time the babies could be here any minute was very validating for me - not that I needed it, but it is nice to know that she anticipates my doing art when the girls are small - maybe not much, but some is better than none!
Today's agenda? Cleaning and sleeping until noon? Check. Email, civ 4 and maybe some holiday cards until Kevin wakes up at 3:30? Sounds good. Going to the bookstore immediately thereafter to spend gift certificates and get a sequel that I NEED!?!? Heck yes!
12.28.2005
My week of Zen Me
Hi folks -
I certainly can't imagine that *anyone* is still checking this blog, but I hugely appreciate if you are!
My twin pregnancy has been the ever-growing center of my life for months now, and I have decided to take this next 10 days (before going BACK to Boston for my baby shower) to get some time in for ME and actually ignore (as best I can) my pregnancy for a while; Yes, I'll still take my meds and eat and lie down most of the time, but my mind? I hereby claim it back from Baby Brain for a bit!
But let's get the pregnancy news out of the way first, shall we? Then it will be said and can be PUT DOWN. I am 22.5 weeks preg with fraternal twin girls, both doing perfectly. I am enourmous (think 8 months instead of 4.5) and only have two pairs of pants that even begin to fit. My belly button is disappearing. I have put on 20+ lbs so far, which is perfect. I know most of the doctors on the Labor and Delivery floor by first name, since I have been up there with weird pains so often. Rolling over is a myth I once heard about, as is getting comfy.
My beloved Kevin got me a fabu-soft bathrobe for Christmas that I adore. I got none of the art related stuff on my Christmas list. I have done JACK ALL with textiles, other than trying to spin alpaca for my mother in law (can't sit up long enough to spin much) and knit up part of a baby sweater. Yikes. My sewing machine is just off limits, as I can't sit up to use it, and my attempt to do a silk painting for my aunt for Christmas failed when my brain forgot to gutta the edges too, to prevent bleeding. Oh well - she didn't deserve it anyway. >:)
So... I am going to take some of the pushki my mom gave me and get myself a subscription to QA. I think I need it arriving in my mail box to remind me that I am something other than a gestating machine. I am going to pick up a book on pastel drawing at Barns and Snowballs since I can do that with my belly as desk, and I like the idea of smudging stuff right now. I am GOING to do one of a) get my husband to CLEAN THIS DUMP UP, b) make a show of trying to do it myself so he gets the point that this is important to me so it won't get this disgusting again, or c) take more of my carefully hoarded pushki and hire a kid home on break to do some of it for me. I can't take it anymore! I can't really bend over, but I'll figure it out. Most of the stuff from knee to elbow height I have dealt with, but the floor? Grody to the max.
I plan to do some thinking and writing this week too - I haven't really journalled on my pregnancy yet, despite having worked so hard to get here. I feel like I owe it to MYSELF to document this transformation some. Likewise, I haven't done a tarot reading for myself in ages - no, I don't tell the future, I just look at what thoughts I am having now - very good for mindfulness work, and I am feeling a sore lack of that on anything other than a maternal level lately.
And why now? I was supposed to stay in Boston this whole time, so no one knows that I am home, I have no appointments scheduled, and snow always puts me in the mood for introspection. Also, I know that far too soon I will have precious few moments of quiet time to myself, let alone nice big chunks of them to spend as I please, rather than in a recovery coma.
So - it is lunch time now, then something 100% for my mental health, specifics as yet to be determined.
Best wishes to all - I miss your lives like crazy.
I certainly can't imagine that *anyone* is still checking this blog, but I hugely appreciate if you are!
My twin pregnancy has been the ever-growing center of my life for months now, and I have decided to take this next 10 days (before going BACK to Boston for my baby shower) to get some time in for ME and actually ignore (as best I can) my pregnancy for a while; Yes, I'll still take my meds and eat and lie down most of the time, but my mind? I hereby claim it back from Baby Brain for a bit!
But let's get the pregnancy news out of the way first, shall we? Then it will be said and can be PUT DOWN. I am 22.5 weeks preg with fraternal twin girls, both doing perfectly. I am enourmous (think 8 months instead of 4.5) and only have two pairs of pants that even begin to fit. My belly button is disappearing. I have put on 20+ lbs so far, which is perfect. I know most of the doctors on the Labor and Delivery floor by first name, since I have been up there with weird pains so often. Rolling over is a myth I once heard about, as is getting comfy.
My beloved Kevin got me a fabu-soft bathrobe for Christmas that I adore. I got none of the art related stuff on my Christmas list. I have done JACK ALL with textiles, other than trying to spin alpaca for my mother in law (can't sit up long enough to spin much) and knit up part of a baby sweater. Yikes. My sewing machine is just off limits, as I can't sit up to use it, and my attempt to do a silk painting for my aunt for Christmas failed when my brain forgot to gutta the edges too, to prevent bleeding. Oh well - she didn't deserve it anyway. >:)
So... I am going to take some of the pushki my mom gave me and get myself a subscription to QA. I think I need it arriving in my mail box to remind me that I am something other than a gestating machine. I am going to pick up a book on pastel drawing at Barns and Snowballs since I can do that with my belly as desk, and I like the idea of smudging stuff right now. I am GOING to do one of a) get my husband to CLEAN THIS DUMP UP, b) make a show of trying to do it myself so he gets the point that this is important to me so it won't get this disgusting again, or c) take more of my carefully hoarded pushki and hire a kid home on break to do some of it for me. I can't take it anymore! I can't really bend over, but I'll figure it out. Most of the stuff from knee to elbow height I have dealt with, but the floor? Grody to the max.
I plan to do some thinking and writing this week too - I haven't really journalled on my pregnancy yet, despite having worked so hard to get here. I feel like I owe it to MYSELF to document this transformation some. Likewise, I haven't done a tarot reading for myself in ages - no, I don't tell the future, I just look at what thoughts I am having now - very good for mindfulness work, and I am feeling a sore lack of that on anything other than a maternal level lately.
And why now? I was supposed to stay in Boston this whole time, so no one knows that I am home, I have no appointments scheduled, and snow always puts me in the mood for introspection. Also, I know that far too soon I will have precious few moments of quiet time to myself, let alone nice big chunks of them to spend as I please, rather than in a recovery coma.
So - it is lunch time now, then something 100% for my mental health, specifics as yet to be determined.
Best wishes to all - I miss your lives like crazy.
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