My week of Zen Me

Hi folks -

I certainly can't imagine that *anyone* is still checking this blog, but I hugely appreciate if you are!

My twin pregnancy has been the ever-growing center of my life for months now, and I have decided to take this next 10 days (before going BACK to Boston for my baby shower) to get some time in for ME and actually ignore (as best I can) my pregnancy for a while; Yes, I'll still take my meds and eat and lie down most of the time, but my mind? I hereby claim it back from Baby Brain for a bit!

But let's get the pregnancy news out of the way first, shall we? Then it will be said and can be PUT DOWN. I am 22.5 weeks preg with fraternal twin girls, both doing perfectly. I am enourmous (think 8 months instead of 4.5) and only have two pairs of pants that even begin to fit. My belly button is disappearing. I have put on 20+ lbs so far, which is perfect. I know most of the doctors on the Labor and Delivery floor by first name, since I have been up there with weird pains so often. Rolling over is a myth I once heard about, as is getting comfy.

My beloved Kevin got me a fabu-soft bathrobe for Christmas that I adore. I got none of the art related stuff on my Christmas list. I have done JACK ALL with textiles, other than trying to spin alpaca for my mother in law (can't sit up long enough to spin much) and knit up part of a baby sweater. Yikes. My sewing machine is just off limits, as I can't sit up to use it, and my attempt to do a silk painting for my aunt for Christmas failed when my brain forgot to gutta the edges too, to prevent bleeding. Oh well - she didn't deserve it anyway. >:)

So... I am going to take some of the pushki my mom gave me and get myself a subscription to QA. I think I need it arriving in my mail box to remind me that I am something other than a gestating machine. I am going to pick up a book on pastel drawing at Barns and Snowballs since I can do that with my belly as desk, and I like the idea of smudging stuff right now. I am GOING to do one of a) get my husband to CLEAN THIS DUMP UP, b) make a show of trying to do it myself so he gets the point that this is important to me so it won't get this disgusting again, or c) take more of my carefully hoarded pushki and hire a kid home on break to do some of it for me. I can't take it anymore! I can't really bend over, but I'll figure it out. Most of the stuff from knee to elbow height I have dealt with, but the floor? Grody to the max.

I plan to do some thinking and writing this week too - I haven't really journalled on my pregnancy yet, despite having worked so hard to get here. I feel like I owe it to MYSELF to document this transformation some. Likewise, I haven't done a tarot reading for myself in ages - no, I don't tell the future, I just look at what thoughts I am having now - very good for mindfulness work, and I am feeling a sore lack of that on anything other than a maternal level lately.

And why now? I was supposed to stay in Boston this whole time, so no one knows that I am home, I have no appointments scheduled, and snow always puts me in the mood for introspection. Also, I know that far too soon I will have precious few moments of quiet time to myself, let alone nice big chunks of them to spend as I please, rather than in a recovery coma.

So - it is lunch time now, then something 100% for my mental health, specifics as yet to be determined.

Best wishes to all - I miss your lives like crazy.