Learning opportunities

Narf. I have to go today to bid farewell to a *very* dear friend who is moving to Florida. I haven't seen her in a year, for many reasons. Now I have to go say goodbye to both her and her son. Sherry is an amazing woman - tattoo and henna artist, and tarot interpreter - and shares so generously of what she has learned on her journey. Her son, Elias, is about 12, and tuned in like you wouldn't believe. They are such miraculous beings, and I am going to miss them like crazy! I know they will only be a phone call away, but missing seeing Elias grow into the wonderful man he is destined to become? No fair! DH Kevin says it will be a good excuse to go to Florida (yea, right), but I know that he would try to combine a visit with a shuttle launch, space geek that he is (this from the woman who was one of ten folks in a decade to get free access to the NASA stacks at the local federal reserve library!)

I also learned that the most important thing about dyeing fabric is the water - when, how, and how much! I like the effects that I am getting, but sometimes I like the effects and then they change on me - I think less water is called for! Hard to do when the water is *so* cool, and the air is *so* hot! All this mugginess isn't helping either - dyes are moving around just from the humidity!

Anyway, the funk is back in full force, and I just want to crawl into a hole and not wake up until I am pregnant. Again. I keep feeling like such an early miscarriage shouldn't be throwing me like this, but, after over two years of trying to get that far, I think it is more of a loss than I am letting myself believe. All I know is that I am putting tons of energy into being functional, I keep apologizing to my husband for my moodiness, and my brain and every book I look at keeps trivializing the depth of the situation. And that this isn't working for me...